Note to my non-unicorn DH

Dear DH,

You have started making little comments about the time I spend on Twilight and asking me uncomfortable questions like “Who’s that shirtless guy on your computer?” (Rob), “Who do you like better: Edward or Bill?” (Rob), or “What are you looking at?” (Rob). In all fairness, you should know the following:

See, baby, what great company youd be in if you just read the fucking books already?

See, baby, what great company you'd be in if you just read the fucking books already?

1) Twilight fan fiction is getting you laid more. If you have any sense about you, you’ll stop making comments about how much of it I read.

2) If you pretend I’m not looking at RobPorn, I’ll continue to pretend you don’t look at PornPorn.

3) RobPorn is getting you laid more, too.

Um, yeah, what was I saying?

Um, yeah, what was I saying?

4) I may like the good vamps in Twilight, but I’m all about Eric in True Blood.

5) Yeah, True Blood’s getting you laid, too.

6) Discouraging the Twilight thing? You got it: will result in getting laid less.

It’s so simple, really. You think you’d have figured it out already.

Love,
Your wife
(who, if you notice, doesn’t ask you uncomfortable questions about Evangeline Lilly)

~ by fragile little human on 29 June 2009.

9 Responses to “Note to my non-unicorn DH”

  1. You are brilliant! Really. I think you’re my hero!
    Ah yes. Eric is dark, scary and super yummy!

  2. Love it! My husband calls me Sookie on Sunday nights and he for sure gets laid with that. He would never read the books, but its ok, he will have sex to the movie…nice!
    I linked up to your blog, hope you dont mind.
    http://www.hairbrainedmom.blogspot.com

    • LOL! I don’ t know if I could manage sex DURING Twilight, ’cause Robward would have me all distracted 😉 Thanks for the link – I’ll definitely pay you a visit, too.

  3. Yay! Finally another Team Eric person! If only people would read the books, everyone would know what a douche bag Bill is. Yeah, I am totally feeling way more randy since starting Twilight, moving on to Sookie series, and then on to Black Dagger Brotherhood, heh.

    • Now I really want to read the Sookie books! Did you see the issue of Entertainment Weekly with Ryan Reynolds on the cover? There were all these full-page ads for True Blood, and one was of Eric *yummy*

  4. […] usage and run across my blog, or he’d know how calling me out on the Twilight thing is not in his best interest. Oh, and it won’t get him chocolate, […]

  5. Bwahahahhahahah… Holy Haberdashery! This is the bestest! 😀

    Agree Edward or Eric? Rob The End.

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