Note to my non-unicorn DH

Dear DH,

You have started making little comments about the time I spend on Twilight and asking me uncomfortable questions like “Who’s that shirtless guy on your computer?” (Rob), “Who do you like better: Edward or Bill?” (Rob), or “What are you looking at?” (Rob). In all fairness, you should know the following:

See, baby, what great company you'd be in if you just read the fucking books already?

1) Twilight fan fiction is getting you laid more. If you have any sense about you, you’ll stop making comments about how much of it I read.

2) If you pretend I’m not looking at RobPorn, I’ll continue to pretend you don’t look at PornPorn.

3) RobPorn is getting you laid more, too.

Um, yeah, what was I saying?

4) I may like the good vamps in Twilight, but I’m all about Eric in True Blood.

5) Yeah, True Blood’s getting you laid, too.

6) Discouraging the Twilight thing? You got it: will result in getting laid less.

It’s so simple, really. You think you’d have figured it out already.

Love,
Your wife
(who, if you notice, doesn’t ask you uncomfortable questions about Evangeline Lilly)

~ by fragile little human on 29 June 2009.