Twilight Merchandising Overkill?

If it’s time for another Twilight Saga movie, it’s time for more crazy merchandising. While I am the proud (read “completely embarassed”) owner of a Pocket Edward, I have not really given into buying all the Twilight-branded stuff, and, based on what’s coming, I don’t think I’ll add many Twilight/New Moon things to my Christmas list.

This abomination makes Mini E throw up in his mouth a little.

This abomination makes Mini E throw up in his mouth a little.

A sure sign of the Twi-apocalypse is Twilight Barbie and Ken. I fucking HATE Barbie! She represents everything that is wrong with the U.S. media and its affect on the self-esteem of young girls. Yep, hated her as a kid, hate her even more as an adult. And Ken? Is it my imagination, or is he sportin’ an Afro? Worst part? They’ll probably sell millions of these dolls. On a side note, Mini E has asked me to convey his belief that he could seriously kick Ken’s ass any day of the week.

Everything you need to make people think youre dead

Everything you need to make people think you're dead

I’m probably a bad judge of the marketability of makeup considering I don’t wear it. Yes, you read that right. I don’t wear makeup. The last time I wore makeup on a daily basis was high school, and then it was mainly just powder, lots of black eyeliner, and black fingernail poilish. Nope, it was before both Emo and Goth, so that should tell you how incredibly old I am.

Still, will anyone buy this stuff simply because it is Twilight/New Moon related? Sure they will. And, when it makes the skin on your lips peel and your eyelashes fall out, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Read Twilight-Headed’s take on the makeup

Id like to see a Team I-Dont-Need-15-Copies-Of-New-Moon Cover

I'd like to see a Team I-Don't-Need-15-Copies-Of-New-Moon Cover

(Image completely stolen from Twilight Guide)

I understand that books tend to come out in hardback and paperback versions. Then, if a movie is made from the book, a new movie tie-in paperback is usually published. But there is only one reason to publish two movie tie-in paperbacks with completely different covers. That’s right: to part you and your hard-earned money. Another possible reason could be to watch Twi-Hards argue over which cover is better 😉 My only question is why the Team Edward cover wasn’t used as the official movie poster. KStew looks much less freaky on the book cover.

PRD: Portable RobPorn Drive

PRD: Portable RobPorn Drive

Who is the idiot that came up with…okay, yeah, so I pre-ordered it. Come on! It’s geek AND Twilight. How could I resist?! Especially with a description like this:

Save your Robert Pattison photos on the Twilight USB Flash Drive!

Seriously, can’t a girl have one Twilight-branded toy without being judged?! *huff* *stomp* *walking away*

~ by fragile little human on 5 July 2009.

2 Responses to “Twilight Merchandising Overkill?”

  1. OMG I MUST have that flash drive! No lie, I would use that thing every day!! Perfect accessory for college.

    I buy everything Twilight, so I will be buying that makeup too. At least the lip gloss with the cool vial. I’m a nerd, I know.

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