Twilight Deprogramming Attempt #3: True Blood Season 1 OR The One Where DH Thinks He’s Mildly Successful But Has Completely Underestimated My Ability To Love Two Vampires

Wow, the model must have used Lip Venom

Wow, the model must have used Lip Venom

When True Blood season 1 originally aired, DH watched it religiously, while I hated it. I mean HATED it. The only thing I’ve ever liked about True Blood was the song at the beginning. I didn’t even like the opening credits…actually, I even hated the opening credits. But DH was convinced that, if I gave it another chance, I’d like it and possibly forget all about the stupid sparkly vampires. So, I watched the HBO’s season 1 replay last month.

So, this is Stephanna...wait, that sounds like a real name.

So, this is Stephanna...wait, that sounds like a real name.

Oh, Lord, I hate the accents on this show! I grew up in the South and still live here. For 3 episodes, every time anyone opened their mouth, it took all the strength I had not to perforate both eardrums with an ice pick to save myself from the horror. Sam, the cute bartender, is the only one with a great accent. It probably has something to do with the fact that the actor is actually Southern.

And what’s with the name Sookie? It sounds like a hog call. Yeah, well if you grew up in Alabama, you’d know what a hog call sounds like, too.

Believe it or not, the show started to grow on me after a couple of episodes. Little did DH know, the plot constantly reminded me of Twilight. Human falls in love with vampire. Vampire is quaint and old fashioned but kicks ass when needed. Shapeshifter has unrequited love for human. Bad vamps make life difficult for all.

The main difference? Human and vampire have hot, dirty, bloody sex. No saving themselves for marriage and then fading to black. With True Blood, you get total smutty soft-porn SEX.

You know what else Twilight doesnt have? Yummy Eric!

You know what else Twilight doesn't have? Yummy Eric!

At some point, DH decided to quiz me:

DH: So, who do you think is better looking: Bill or Edward?
Me: wondering what kind of trap DH is setting for me
DH: Well?
Me: deciding at last minute to completely lie
Me: Oh, Bill, definitely.
DH: Of course, ’cause he’s a MAN, and Edward’s a BOY.
Me: looking at DH like he’s lost his fucking mind
DH: Not that I’m threatened by fictional characters or anything.
Me: Uh-huh.

DH is pretty happy that I’ll watch True Blood with him again. I must admit their accents have gotten better; someone must have taken a ride on the clue train. And Eric with short hair? Extra yummy! *swoon* Still, here’s the vampire math for those keeping score at home:

Edward > Eric > Bill

Poor DH. Another attempt shot down, although not completely in flames this time.

~ by fragile little human on 9 July 2009.

16 Responses to “Twilight Deprogramming Attempt #3: True Blood Season 1 OR The One Where DH Thinks He’s Mildly Successful But Has Completely Underestimated My Ability To Love Two Vampires”

  1. Oh, Bill doesn’t hold a candle next to Mr. Pattinson… I mean Mr. Cullen. *wink* I do love True Blood. And while I’ve never had an issue with their accents, I have wondered at how thick Shookies is. Not only that, but when Bill says her name I get a bad case of the giggles! I just can’t help myself! “Shoookie!” Dear Lord that kills me!

    DH: “He’s a man.” LOL That’s to freaking funny!

    • Different parts of the South have different accents, and the show is set in Louisiana. However, I think the accents are from southern Hell.

      • LOL Southern Hell! I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand their accents now!? And I will for sure be thinking of you!

        Oh and I forgot to mention, I LOVE the opening song! We bought it on itunes we loved it so much.

  2. The husbands love True Blood cause of all the fang banging and Sookie’s boobs… But, I was pissed when I first saw it, I thought it was a total rip off….BUT, now I am a huge fan, and Im going team Eric all the way…if they make Lafayette a vamp, Ill have to play for both teams 🙂 Bill was warmim the panties for alittle while, but not so much anymore. But, I do love the way he says “Sookie”

  3. I just can’t get into the Team Bill jersey. Ick. He’s yucky. Now Eric…yum. Oh crap, where are my backup panties? Anyway, I think I may like Eric a weensy bit more than Edward, and for the reason that he’s a “man.” Okay, so he’s like 900 years older, but whatever. Something about him just does it for me…maybe it’s the deep voice, the blond hair, the possibility of seeing his ripped body gettin’ it on with someone (probably Sookie, but I don’t think it will happen this season at least…maybe Lafayette?). Okay, moving on. Yeah, True Blood. I.DIE. Glad it will be new on Sunday. Did you read the spoilers of the rest of the season on EW.com? You so need to!

    • I have been so tempted to read the spoilers (I ❤ EW), but I'm trying to restrain myself. Eric is tons o' awesome, but Edward is still my favorite. I can't wait to see why Eric is showing up at Lafayette's house….

  4. Ohhh, I love me some True Blood. It’s got everything that Twilight left out. Like SEX!! and Eric…boy o boy. I sooo want Lafayette to be a vamp! It’s totally hot because Sookie and Bill are doing it in real life. Sweeet! At least they’re ‘out’, unlike Robsten. Team Robsten all the way!

    • It’s so funny how no one seems to be Team Bill. Eric = sex on a stick 😉 As for Stephanna, they creep me out just a little. Stephen tells way too many TMIs about Anna in interviews.

  5. I love TRUE BLOOD! 🙂 Unfortunately Mr. Just Erin won’t go near it with a 12 foot pole because it’s vampire related and I think he associates it with Twilight and therefore, my Twilight obsession. So count your lucky stars that your boy is at least willing to play.

    After I finished watching the first season – I immediately went out and got all 9 books — after reading, there is no way I’m on anything but Team Eric. And I’ve developed quite the crush on Alexander Skarsgard. Mmmmboy. 🙂 He’s no Edward, but than again, I don’t think Robert Pattinson’s a very good Edward. *Waiting for large object to be thrown in my direction.*

    • WHAT?! Take. That. Back. 😉

      I can’t wait to read the books. DH wants me to wait until he’s finished, but he reads too damn slow. I’ll have all 9 done before he gets to the 2nd one.

  6. Texan here who married a redneck who hog hunts so I know all 2 well what you mean about hog calls and sookie definitely sounds like a hog call!

    I have absolutely no clue about True Blood.. I don’t watch much tv at all. the noise actually drives me insane so I don’t bother. Everyone keeps telling me to watch it but between music, blogging,blog hopping,fan fic, 4 kids, sometimes domestic crap, fan fic, blog hopping, fan fic, blog hopping, fan fic.. where do I have the time for tv???

    I loved this though: “For 3 episodes, every time anyone opened their mouth, it took all the strength I had not to perforate both eardrums with an ice pick to save myself from the horror.” Tv makes me feel like that OFTEN

    • Season 1 is out on DVD/Bluray, so you could catch up that way – watch it on your schedule. It’s definitely an after-the-kids-are-asleep show.

      Hog hunts? You mean like wild hogs? Deer hunting is the big thing here.

      • yep wild hogs.. they deer hunt until jan and then its hog season.. Hog hunting scares me 2 death.. hubs got cut on the wrist by ones tusk years ago.. it was bad. They are/can be so dangerous.. and hubs is pretty much a glutton for punishment.. If he can get hurt,break something, trip,fall, etc. he is going to.

  7. The Sookie Stackhouse books are about 100000 times better than True Blood. (Much like the Twilight movie is poorly-directed garbage in comparison to the books)The tv show looks like cheap wannabe porn in comparison (though I will give them that their Eric is hot, though not nearly as awesome as book Eric) True Blood makes me want to cry every time I see it because it’s such a poor rendition of the books.

    So the long and short of it: READ THE BOOKS! Bonus: No listening to bad accents in a book. I like them better than the Twilight books.

    Also, Bill is a complete schmuck. In case they don’t ever play that part out in the TV show, I’m telling you, he’s a schmuck.

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