My Earliest Obsession

Today, Cutie (you know her, the one who runs the awesome WA discussion at SSTB) and I had a little video link war, starting with The Offspring’s “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” and ending with Pocket Edward dancing to The White Stripes’ “Fell in Love With a Girl.” (You can follow the war in reverse starting here, and follow this in reverse to see Cutie concede defeat to my superior musical knowledge. Or just to my ability to hide a great PE video in reserve.)

During our war, I posted a video that reminded me of my first obsession, the one before DMB and Twilight/Rob…

*insert blurry visual effects and the sound of windchimes*

In 1980, I was 11 years old (do the math, and I’ll never speak to you again). Actually, I was an 11 year old in a 17 year old body with the mind of a 25 year old. While all my classmates were worried about cooties and watching cartoons, I was boy crazy, watching Reagan/Carter election news, and mourning the death of John Lennon. My mother had asked the library to let me check out anything I wanted in the adult section, not thinking that maybe I’d just check out lots of novels with sex in them. If my father hadn’t been unbearably overprotective, I probably would have ended up in a LOT of trouble.

Another thing I was crazy about was music. Even as a child, I was horrified, HORRIFIED by disco, and somehow managed to get my mother to buy me KISS albums (um, Destroyer anyone?). I vaguely remember finding the Sex Pistols scandolous and hearing about Sid Vicious‘ death on the news. I enhaled music, just waiting to hear something good.

On Friday nights, I would wait for my parents to go to bed, and I’d get up and watch the Midnight Special.  The show would have the best artists performing live, and, when videos began becoming popular in ’79-’80, they would air a few of those as well. I LOVED this show, and I was heartbroken if my dad woke up and made me go to bed.

One night in December 1980, while my parents and brothers slept, I saw the videos that changed my life.

Motherfucking YouTube wont let me embed the motherfucking videos.

Motherfucking YouTube won't let me embed the motherfucking videos.

The Police – De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da

The Police – Don’t Stand So Close To Me

I vaguely remember having the following thoughts:

Who was that?! Oh my God, who was that?! Who are the Police?! Oh my God, are they not the most gawgeous men on the face of the Earth?! What is that funny feeling in my lower extremities?!

Now, for you youngsters reading along, there was no Internet in 1980 (okay, ARPANET existed, but they didn’t let me use it when I asked). I couldn’t just Wiki that shit and find out everything I wanted to know about these blond gods of music. I had to beg my mother to take me to the library and search through stacks of Billboard (yes, our library in Alabama had a subscription) to find out everything I could. Then I begged her to take me to the local record store so I could pick the brain of the guys that worked there. Then I bought every issue of CREEM that even remotely mentioned them.

My mother helped me buy the Police albums I asked the record store to order. I began collecting pictures and posters, which were either added to my extensive clip collection or plastered on my bedroom wall. This went on for YEARS.

Wow, lets microscopically examine the picture for evidence of hidden romance. Oh, thats right, they werent in Twilight.

Now, let's microscopically examine the picture for evidence of hidden romance. Oh, that's right, they weren't in Twilight.

By the time Every Breath You Take came out when I was 14, I was an old, faithful fan. I quietly laughed at people who heard the song on the radio and wanted to talk about that new band the Police they’d just discovered. And, even then, I wondered why the hell people could not figure out the guy in the song was a TOTAL STALKER! Geez, people…

I was so sad when the Police announced they wouldn’t make any more albums. I had devoured information about them for years, so I knew they weren’t really getting along. Still, in my mind, it was kinda like your parents getting divorced. A few years later, my parents got divorced, and, trust me, that was much worse than a band breaking up.

When the Police reunited for their recent tour, I never once considered going to a show. I wanted to remember them as I’d seen them through my adolescent eyes, all blond and god-like. I have their music on my iPod, and, like today, when I see one of their old videos, I can revisit my nicer memories of a really awkward time. It also makes me wish I could tell my mother how cool I just realized she was.

~ by fragile little human on 26 July 2009.

10 Responses to “My Earliest Obsession”

  1. I just ❤ you so much! This post makes me ❤ you even more. Music has always been a huge part of my life.. And disco has always been horrific. It really should be outlawed.

  2. Firstly, our little game of music war was sofa king awesome. TRULY. I had far to much fun on youtube yesterday. I can’t even remember where it started for me… I do know at one point NKOTB and Dr Dre were involved. Maybe even a little Humpty Dance… *hangs head in shame* It’s like admitting to a night of drunken debauchery…

    Anyway… It was super cool of your mom! How fun! Truly a great memory. 😀 I absolutely love this post, hate to think about a time without the webernet and miss posting music. Oh Wide Awake how I adore you while at the same time wonder what you have done to me!

    • We should really have a rematch sometime – kinda like Cutie V FLH II. I bought several of the songs you tweeted from iTunes, especially that last White Stripes one 🙂 Been rockin’ out to it at my desk.

  3. I am going to truly embarrass myself by admitting that I, the very hip and happening KG 😉 once loved, and I mean L O V E D Hanson. I had the unofficial biographies (with color photos! holla), the posters, the cds, i wanted to marry Zack ((shudder)) and searched Yahoo! (totes pre Google, i know right!?) endlessly for all things Hanson. And lets not even go there with the Spice Girls obsession…srsly. If i had my Baby Spice doll still, you know Lil’ EC would be ALL UP IN THAT SHIZZ!

    go ahead and laugh, its okay. its funny now. 😉

  4. I seriously have been out of it because your blog totally was not on my blogroll. What the hell? Anyway, um, yeah, totally loved the Police, but not until way later when I was allowed to make my own musical selections. Your mom was way cool. And I did see them last summer? maybe the summer before? whenever they did their tour recently…loved it…was to use cutie’s expression “sofa king” awesome. God, looking back at those pics, they really were blond rock gods.

  5. […] with the warm fuzzies I’m spreading around, I’d like to share the video that not only won me the link war and turned me onto the White Stripes but also cracks me up every time I watch it. Without further […]

  6. […] with the warm fuzzies I’m spreading around, I’d like to share the video that not only won me the link war and turned me onto the White Stripes but also cracks me up every time I watch it. Without further […]

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