The Men of Twilight (Non-vamp and non-jailbait edition)

After posting the Twilight hotties, I thought it would be nice to give a little attention to those men of Twilight who don’t play bloodsuckers or wolves. I asked some of my favorite Tweeples to help, and we came up with a post o’ epicness.

Again, they are ordered by birth date, reverse chronological order.

Gregory Tyree Boyce

5 Dec 1989 (IMDB)
By: Mrs. Robward @ Peace Love Twilight

AKA: Tyler Crowley or the dork that almost killed Bella.

I have to admit when FLH asked if I wanted to contribute to this Blog post, I squee’d with glee! See I was a guest-blogger-virgin, and then with this post fragilelittlehuman popped my cherry. I have to admit I kinda liked it. I would have wrote about anyone or anything because I’m easy like that. Then she assigned me which human in Twilight? Tyler.

“Tyler? Tyler who? Tyler Crowley. Hmm. That name sounds familiar but who in the hell is he? The Chinese looking guy? No, that was Eric. Of course isn’t not the OTHER guy that was Mike Newton, was there another dude?”

So, in the words of our favorite Vamp Edward “You can Google it,” *le sigh* ::shakes head::
Oh yeah, Tyler! I typed Tyler Crowley into my computer & immediately felt like a moron because this face splashed across my screen:

Then I got real excited about dishing the scoop on Gregory, so I Googled… and then I Wiki-ed…. and then I even Urban Dictionary-ed him & this is all I found:

Gregory Tyree Boyce had a role in the Blockbuster hit Twilight as Tyler Crowley.
He’s from Southern California.
His birth date is December 5, 1989.
He’s 5′ 7” tall.

::crickets::

No scandalous sex tape? He never sang in a smoke filled bar playing the guitar! No half-nekked pictures??!! IS there a girlfriend? A baby Mama? IS HE EVEN ALIVE ANYMORE? Who the hells knows? Not me, that’s for sure.

I did find a myspace page for him, but I’m not sure if it’s legit. So if you wanna peek at it, here’s the link: http://www.myspace.com/gregorytyreeboyce

So this is what we do know about our secretive Gregory Tyree Boyce as Tyler in the movie Twilight:

Tyler is mainly introduced to the story when he loses control of his van, on a particularly icy day, and so induces the famous scene where his van is careening towards Bella and Edward saves her from being killed. He then decides that to make up for almost killing her, he’s going to take her to the prom, and actually shows up at her house to pick her up, even though she is already on her way to the prom with Edward.

~ Thank you for that imbd.com

So in conclusion, Tyler was an aggregating geek who would not take no for an answer from Bella. He doesn’t know how to drive his ugly ass van and Edward finally got to grope Bella thanks to him.

What we know about the person Mr. Boyce? *cough*BORING!*cough*

Thanks Fragile, this was fun! Mrs. Robward =]

Michael Welch

25 Jul 1987  (IMDB)
By: Mrs. Vanquish @ Let’s Ride the Vanquish

Being a human in a vampire movie/story definitely can´t be that easy, since everyone is focused on the male vampires and most of the hype is about them. Michael Welch plays Mike Newton, our beloved and cute Golden Retriever.

Michael has been in the business since he was 10,  and he has played in tons of films and TV shows. I guess we all have already seen him somewhere, but honestly I wouldn´t know where. I never had an eye for him, but he is that cute, blond guy looking exactly like I picture a Prom King from a typical US High School. ( You know, I´ve never been in a High School, and here in Germany we don´t have something like prom.)

However, he tried out for Edward and finally got the role of Mike, which is The. Perfect. Role for him! Michael as Edward??? Goodness – no, never, but he really looks like Stephenie Meyer describes Mike in her books. When thinking about Mike a few things come to my mind :

  • Golden Retriever
  • Lord of the one-liners (Quote from Betti)
  • poor guy who wants to have a girl he will never ever get (instead he´s taking Jessica)
  • trying to compete with Edward – oh my Edward, don´t try!

Anyway, Mikey brings quite some fun in the movie with its famous quotes, like “Look at you, huh? You are allllliiiveee” or “He´s looking at you as if you´re something to eat.” I love him for this small scenes, which always make me smile. They are simply funny, and he delivers them with a perfect mix of awkwardness and cuteness.

Michael is definitely not my type of guy, but he is more than perfect for this role. They couldn´t have cast someone better to play Mike! And I really wish that Twilight might help him getting some bigger roles!

Justin Chon

29 May 1981 (IMDB)
Susie @ Apples N’ Feathers & Susie’s Fan Fiction Haven

I have to say when I first saw Justin Chon in Twilight portraying Eric I thought, Eric’s Asian?! That’s different…then he spoke. Not only does Justin Chon have some of the best one liners in the movie, “Cute Mike, Let a playa play,” he makes my heart go pitter patter for the Asian Persuasion.

I have always had a thing for the nerdy boys so therefore how can you not fall in love with Justin Chon. Since he doesn’t just surf the internet *snicker* He’s got that slick, cool attitude, but at the same time he’s personable, sweet and fucking hilarious all at the same time! Then he shows you this whole other side. I saw a picture of him and realized, shit the boy is inked! *THUD* So he can be sexy too!

Pair the man up with the charmingly beautiful Christian Serratos and the scene is truly set. “The feature’s dead Angela, don’t bring it up again!” I haven’t gotten the privilege to see him in anything else all though according IMDB he’s in a movie called “Puff Puff Pass” Honestly, I think he would be a riot in a stoner flick, if that’s what that is. When reading the books, you don’t notice Eric. He’s in that band of humans that are left by the wayside like Lauren Conrad. Then here comes Justin Chon with his spiffy black attire and comical one liners. Seriously, Justin, you had me at Chillax.

Billy Burke

25 Nov 1966 (IMDB)
By: Me

There are a few reasons I love Billy Burke:

1. His tweets crack my shit up.

2. He’s one of the few cast members I can ogle without feeling a little icky.

3. He’s a perfect Charlie (more on that in a bit).

4. His presence in Untraceable:

a. was the best thing that movie had going for it.

b. allowed me to continue to irritate DH by screaming, “Look, it’s Bella’s dad!”

As everyone knows by now, I have a special spot in my heart for Charlie, and it has more to do with Billy’s portrayal in the movie than it does with SM’s depiction of him in the books. (Side note: WTF was SM thinking when she had Charlie give Jacob a thattaboy when Jacob forced Bella to kiss him in Eclipse?!) When I started writing Charlie’s character in Breathe Me, Billy’s Charlie was who I saw in my head. He took a pretty flat book character and gave him a great personality…and an awesome mustache 😉

Gil Birmingham

13 Jul 1966 (IMDB)
By: FireCrotch @ WeBitePrettyHard

Between Gil and PFach, I’m not sure who loves his fans more. One of the more socially network connected actors in the cast, Gil regularly tweets, updates his Facebook, and MySpace accounts. He’s down with the kids yo! One of my favorite scene stealers in Twilight (right behind Billy Burke), Gil definitely brought his A-game to his role.

Gil’s bio has some interesting tid-bits in it. Did you know that Gil plays the guitar and used to be a body builder? Yup, that’s how he got his first big break: cast opposite Diana Ross in her music video Muscles. Um, I watched the video on YouTube…I’m speechless.

Okay, so back to Gil’s role as Billy Black. Billy is the wheelchair-bound father of Jacob, Rachel, and Rebecca and lives on the reservation in La Push. He inherited his grandfather’s place on the Quileute tribal council and knows the stories of the origins of the tribe. He never became a werewolf, but as we will see in New Moon, he will shepherd his son Jacob through his transformation. His mistrust of the Cullens puts Bella, Jacob, and Edward in some interesting situations over the course of the books. But Billy and Edward seem to be having a good time in this photo.

My List

Thanks to all the lovely ladies who contributed to this epic post – y’all ROCK! Okay, gang, here’s the list in my order 🙂

Billy can be my daddy anytime.

Billy can be my "daddy" anytime.

The 2nd cutest pic I could find...the cutest was a pap pic, and I aint havin that shit here.

The 2nd cutest pic I could find...the cutest was a pap pic, and I ain't havin' that shit here.

I could learn to like a guy with long hair.

I could learn to like a guy with long hair.

Gawgeous...now show us some more of that ink...

Gawgeous...now show us some more of that ink...

Come back to us Gregory!

Come back to us Gregory!

~ by fragile little human on 30 September 2009.

12 Responses to “The Men of Twilight (Non-vamp and non-jailbait edition)”

  1. Awesome. I never did think anything about Charlie but you know, he’s quite charming. Billy IRL is a keeper! And he seems just as witty in RL as he is on screen. Thanks for posting.

  2. I love this post Fragile! and all the ladies that guest posted did awesome! I heart Michael Welch so freakin much!! I really really do! and Billy Burke…helloooooo daddy-o! =D

  3. Fragile I missed spelled aggravating. That bothers me!
    You other ladies did great!

    Stacy

    This was fun!

  4. Great post lady! I totally agree with your number 1 pick…love me some Billy Burke…yum! Thanks for letting me contribute!

  5. This was hysterical. I’m not sure why I’m laughing – I just totally love it! OK, Tyler – poor Tyler. My fav part of him was in the ER with Bella when he keeps talking and Charlie pulls the curtain on him. I’m very disappointed Mrs. Robward couldn’t dig up any good dirt the actor tho!

    Michael Welch…I’m not even sure what to say – I think my fav part of him was the “You’re alliiiiiiiive” part of the movie and during the commentary when Rob and Kristen say something about seeing him the other day and he looks all old and grown up. WTF? Straight trippin’. Great job, Mrs. V!

    Justin Chon and I have the same haircut – ‘cept i’m blonde. Not sure what that means. Especially since I cut my own hair. Maybe that’s why girls hit on me at the supermarket? I dunno?

    Billy Burke – his tweets are totally FTW! And so is his ‘stache!

    Gil – woah. Good job Firecrotch for taking one for the team to watch that video on Youtube. Scary….

    Sorry I just wrote out the longest comment ever!!!!!

    • i just died when i read “maybe thats why girls hit on me at the supermarket?” i would hit on you too!! 😉

  6. Thanks for asking me to write about one of the boys!! I really had fun doing it, and thank you for correcting me so that it actually sounds as if I’d know what I’m writing :)) I would love to hire your to correct all my post *giggles* no don´t be scared I’m just kidding!

    MrsRobwards part on Tyler cracked me up, Love you sis – great post “Tyler, who??”
    But my fav is Billy, he really brings Charlie to live.

    Thanks fragile and all the girls for this fabulous post!

  7. This epic post will have its place in twiblog history for shizzles!!!
    And I totally agree with your ranking, FLH.
    Billy Burke is a hawt creampuff – without that shoebrush in his face, that is.
    Time to admit: this old lady has a lil crush on Billy Burke.
    Yep. Right. And not ashamed of it.
    And the voice?!? Oh my god… !
    “…just bawwwghdidoff Billey herre…” *died*

  8. it was a total honor to be a guest blogger! Everyone did so awesome and its posts like this that really show that true fans of the Twilight Saga love ALL of the characters

  9. I can’t ever remember the real names of peoples === ever!! BUT from this post I totally learned that:

    Gregory Tyree Boyce drove the ugly ass van that almost splatted Bella and gave us that famous scene that made all of our housewife hearts go pitter pat!!

    Michael Welch does resemble a Golden Retriever and is totally the perfect boy to play Mike. WTF? He tried out for Edward? Ummm… no…. that’s just wrong… even in RL he wants to be Edward hahaha!!!

    I am now wanting to lick Justin Chon’s chest…. Please…. 😉 Ok… there was some words and stuff under his pic and I’m pretty sure that I read them but uhhhh… lick please?

    Billy Burke – haha!! LOOK!! It’s Bella’s DAD!! Lmao!! This is actually the guy I would have asked to write about but I’m a shy little gila monster and I’m so glad FLH did it because damn… that was LOL funny!!!! Plus, I don’t think she would have given him to me wink wink wink @ Fragile haha!!!

    Gil Birmingham – drops to floor – Holy hairballs Batman!! Gil had pecks!! I wonder if he could wiggle them in time with the banjo song… you know the one… na na neer neer neer neer neer na neer. That would be awesome!!!

    That was a freaking awesome post!! Super loved it!!!

  10. Okay so I’m totally fucking stoked for this post.. Why? Billy Burke!! IT’s Charlie!!!! okay.. gaining control of myself and my word vomit.. Moving on.. so I can do this in order..

    Well i dunno.. I don’t have alot to say about anyone else.. *clears throat* We gonna try this anyway..

    Mrs Robward.. You had me giggling. I have absolutely nothing to say bout the dude who played Tyler.. Apparently there’s not alot to say anyhow but You did a fantastic job of it.. kidlet wanted to know what the heck I was laughing at.. You rock my world!

    Mrs. Vanquish w/ Michael Welch.. Again.. I’ve nothing really to say about the golden retriever.. I’m tempted to say Mike who? but then my brain goes back to all the fanfic I’ve read and it becomes muddled between the Mike in twilight and the Mike in fanfic land and well.. They are both rather annoying.. BUT.. I do have to agree with you.. He’s the perfect actor for the part and pretty much what you think of when you think prom king.. And there is just no way he could have pulled off Edward.. It wouldn’t have worked..

    Susie w/ Justin Chon.. I too said wait! What.. who.. huh? Eric’s what? But Justin pulled it off.. He made you believe it.. he worked that shit! He’s strangely appealing as the boy has his own personal style.. I like him..

    *jumps up and down in chair and almost falls out of seat*

    Billy Burke.. My favorite non vamp.. He deserves a nomnomnom.. I love him. He’s pretty fucking good looking too… yes I said it. He looks good.. Well.. xcept the whole thing that bitches has stuck in my head about the pornstache.. I can’t get that image out of my head but hey.. He’s still worth looking at..! That man has Charisma even if he’s playing a dull, flat, part like Bella’s dad.. He damn sure brings the character to life.. And you’re right.. His tweets are funny as hell.. So I totally have a small. SMALL non vamp crush on Bella’s dad.. (well not bella’s dad.. But Billy Burke in general. its just funnier to say Bella’s dad)
    and this: b. allowed me to continue to irritate DH by screaming, “Look, it’s Bella’s dad!”
    freaking classic.. Hilarious.. Hub’s thinks i’m a weirdo anytime I mention ANYTHING twilight related..

    Firecrotch w/ Gil.. He’s fantastic.. I find him funny and think he’s wonderful in his role as Billy.. I had no clue he was a body builder at one time.. interesting.. and really no comment.. I enjoy his tweets he seems so down to earth..

    Enjoyed this post immensely.. Wonderful job ladies.. Now i’m going to tend to a sick 3 year old..

  11. This is a FANTASTIC post!! And I adore all the guest posters!! Great job!!

    I ain’t gonna lie however, I find them all completely unattractive. I know mean they all seem like fantastic people, and you lovely lady’s found some rather wonderful stuff out about them BUT…

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