When DH is a Trekker

Yes, it’s time to find out what Greta’s (@erikasbuddy) husband’s Twi-substitute is! I’ll let her explain:


“Space, The Final Frontier. These are the voyages are the starship…”

!!!!! STOP !!!!!

Don’t make me say it!! Don’t make me even think it!!

Well, I’m going to admit it. My husband is a *gaspity gasp gasp* Trekker.

What’s a Trekker you ask? You know how if you call a mall cop a security guard he’ll correct you by telling you his title his a Security Officer? That’s basically what a Trekker is. A Trekker is nothing more than a Trekkie with a different title.

“Oh!! So have you studied these TREKKERS?” You ask.

Indeed I have. Is it completely and utterly as unrealistic as the hub-a-dubs groan that Twilight is? Oh my my my…. YES YES YES!!!

First, let me start by telling you … It’s a bunch of dudes that fly around in a humongous den, lounging in lazy boys, and wearing their pajamas.

That is pretty much Star Trek in a nutshell.

It’s the male American dream. To never get dressed and to hang out in front of a big massive tv all day, playing video games, and shooting at little toy ships.

A Trekker’s Edward is a William Riker

They swoon over this man!! Well, I seriously have no clue if the chick-a-sticks do, but “oh dear lawrd” do the guys. “The Guys!” you gasp. Yes indeedy do!! The guys love this man. They think he reeks of sexiness. Ick. I for one am not very fond of the man. But I have noticed that anyone who wants to BE like RIKER always props their foot up on something when they are talking to another dude. I guess that’s Star Trek code for “my cahones are bigger than yours.” I’m just guessing here, but I’m quite confident that I’m right.

Set Phasers to Stun

They run around with little toys!! YES they do!! Puw-Puw-Puw!!

BEAM IN BEAM OUT…. And then throw glitter on them!!

How dare the Hubbies of Geekdom even say BOO to our Sparkly Vampires when their Gods of Star Fleet get glitter thrown on them every time they travel!!

There is a freaking following!!

It is crazy the following that they have. They have conventions, action figures, Halloween costumes, bed sheets, lunch boxes, hot wheels, and even cereal!! (I’ve seen it!!)

And if you say one wrong word about how their candy tastes like cardboard then be prepared to be slapped! A trekker is a very sensitive creature 😉

Every Trekker has it in their head that they can tap this!

They call her Seven of Nine and she’s a Borg that’s still kinda sorta human.

What’s a borg you ask? A borg is something that has been assimilated into a collective by being attacked by another borg. They are basically a dead guy roaming around with Robot Parts connected to their bodies keeping them alive.

Wait a tick.

Borgs are the walking dead….Borgs kinda like got bitten by another borg to become a borg. What does this remind you of?!!!! OH!! And they have SEXY ONES!! oOoOoOwWwW!! I call that one SEX OF NINE when I’m watching with my hubz 😉

KLINGONS!

Are you kidding me?

Trekkers love KLINGONS! They have their own little language, fight with big swordy things (Bat’leth — *covers face in shame because she knows the name of them*), they growl and bite and are very manly, and have a freaking mountain growing up in the center of their head.

Well, no wonder they’re always angry!! It would take a whole swimming pool of Clearasil to make that thing go down!

But the HUB-A-Dubs adore them! In my opinion a Klingon is their version of James.

ONE BATHROOM!!

— Enough said —

I can’t even make something that UNREALISTIC up!! Go ahead and ask any Picard/Q lovin’ geek! They’ll tell you that I’m right! Only one potty for everyone to do their number 2’s in. WOW!! I bet the wait is KILLER!

The Vulcan Mind Meld

This is basically SPOCKY BOY reading minds while touching someone’s face. Is it logical? Well, let’s think about this. Who else do we know who can do that?!!!!!

And now you ask…

Is it possible for a Twilighter to get along with a Trekker?

Yes, it can happen… but you really have to swallow your pride and just go with it. Hopefully while you’re out you won’t run in to any of your Edwardly friends 😉 And if you do, just tell the girlies that you dressed up like a dork in exchange that he’s going to dress up like a Jasper later tonight 😉

~ by fragile little human on 30 October 2009.

5 Responses to “When DH is a Trekker”

  1. Greta, I love this post!! I laughed my ass of, where did you found this freaking pictures??. I think you are right, specially the Trekkies can’t blame us at all for being in Love with Sparkle boy! They have their own world just as we have and I assume theirs is even bigger..

    Awesome post!

    • HEHE!!! I’m so thrilled that you enjoyed it 😉 I would have been on last night but I had to go into hiding because if the hubz saw this OMG he would have my hide 😉 At least I think he might lol! I found the pics mainly on Photobucket but I totally knew what I was looking for (I’ve been dumped in this environment for 13.5 years!!). Don’t you love them?! My favorite one is the bathtub haha!! BUT BUT BUT 😉 yes yes yes! Trekkers are so close to us that it’s silly. ANd if you think about it they were here first… so why are they haters? Oh… right…. They’re just jealous that their STUD doesn’t look as lickable as ours 😉

  2. OK! I must point this out with the pic of me and the hubz. Look at the mantle. Do you see those 2 boxes to the left of his shoulder? Those are STAR TREK GLASSES we got from Burger King. NOW!! Look at the grandfather clock. See the Yellow, Blue and Red box on the 2nd shelf? Those are Star Trek TSO series 1-3!!

    LOL!! See what I mean?!!

  3. This was a great post. And I totally loved the Riker thing. Yes, why do the men think he’s the best thing since sliced bread? I mean he was okay, but once he grew the beard, ick. I was always partial to Wesley Crusher anyway, ha.

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