You know fanfic has turned you into a shameless hussy* when…

Greta and I have been discussing lately how reading all this fan fiction is turning us into shameless hussies*. In case you were wondering if you, too, were becoming a shameless hussy*, here’s some of the signs:

 

He's not pulling it yet, but you know he wants to.

– You start yanking your husband’s hair in hopes that it will turn him on but then you get yelled at because for some reason he’s bitching about you hurting him.

– Your husband asks why having your hair pulled suddenly turns you on.

 

Okay, we read CW&IA and we liked it - so?

– You begin to seriously consider piercing, tatting, or waxing…or all of the above.

– You throw out your husband’s plain old soap and replace it with the leather-scented kind just so you can imagine he’s Wideawakeward…and when the lights are out you can TOTALLY imagine it!

 

Why, oh, why didn't you just let him have it?

– You wish you’d gotten your husband that Maxim subscription he wanted so you can see Ashley’s new pics.

– You find yourself picking shirts that show off the girls and you’re seriously considering submitting your pic to Rack of the Week.

– You ask your husband if he can hang up a hook in the bedroom and would he mind if you hung from it.

– You can’t stop giggling at your husband’s Scooby-Doo pj bottoms and for some reason that fact that he wears them turns you on even more than it used to.

 

No, we don't save pictures based on their FingerPorn content *whistling* *looking away*

– You are fixated on fingers and what those fingers could do.

– Your husband says you’ve tired him out.

Oh, and I’m so not telling you which one of us of is doing which 😉

*and we mean shameless hussy in the most complimentary way possible

~ by fragile little human on 10 November 2009.

8 Responses to “You know fanfic has turned you into a shameless hussy* when…”

  1. Yup, I’m a total hussy. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who has thought about piercing and waxing, ha. I ran out of batteries. Nuff said.

  2. Um…yes, check, check, check and CHECK!!!!!

  3. yes to almost all of the above. And not only did I think about entering the Rack of the Week contest– I did it!

  4. Apparently, I was a hushy before fanfic! Good to know. *winks* Oh and there are a few things missing from your list like… *walks away whistling*

  5. HAHAHAHA!! I can’t stop laughing my ass off!!! LMAO!!! BRilliant!! I guess I shouldn’t give away which parts of this is me because then we can guess which parts are our innocent delicate little Fragile 😉 But OH BEHAVE!!

  6. This is hysterical! Apparently, I was a raging hussy long before I read any fanfic as quite a bit of the above apply…

  7. Guilty to all of the above *blushes* What a great post! How did I miss this before now? And hawt damn, I would soooo consider switching teams for some Ashley Greene!! *fans self*

  8. Uhm… guilty to all of the above too *waves at smutty*, and not even blushing. Especially the finger fixation. Are you ladies jealous if I tell you that, once DH noticed that (yes he’s paying that much attention), he started to develope totes new skills? With his hands? *swoon* Do I even have to remind you, HD is a musician (hands! skills!)?
    Sorry – could not resist… awsome post. Ans so true!

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