TGIF: The Carpet and the Drapes

It's that time of the week again, Girlies!

The day that Fragile came to visit me we had an interesting conversation about body hair.  “About body hair?” you gasp!! That’s right, about body hair.  I had a couple of questions and neither one of us seemed to be able to answer them.

Picture it:  You’re out on a date with a lovely sparkly hunk o’ man meat and all of the sudden he leans in and tells you that he’s a vampire.

I know! I know! You just wet yourself.  It’s going to be OK!

BUT!!

The problem with this picture is…. You lovely little Vampy Poo has decided he wants to be with you for eternity

(yes yes!  good good)

and had decided to change you TONIGHT!

(fans self)

So, where’s the problem?  Well, I’ll tell you Sister!!

You haven’t shaved ALL WEEK!! Or maybe not in the past 2 weeks!! I’m not really up to par on my friends’ personal hygiene and it might be rather rude of me to ask, but girls, I know it IS the winter months and we tend to neglect things…. But what if this was to happen!!??!!

Now, guys have it soo easy.  A bit of stubble on the jaw is quite sexy indeed.  Well, as long as it’s not all awkward teenage crop circle-like.  That’s just creepy.

They don’t have to shave their legs.  As long as they are young they probably don’t have to worry about back, toe, and knuckle hair.  And if they are young enough then I’m pretty sure they don’t have to worry about that unsightly ass hair.  *shivers*

And quite frankly I have never really cared what shape their Christmas Tree skirt is in.  I mean, I know they like to do a bit of maintenance down there but it’s never wowed me.  So, that is soo not a problem.

But what about us?  What if we were having an off week and Mr. Drop Dead Gorgeous decides to unveil that he’s a creature of the night…. well what do we do?  Do we say ‘No’ and then possibly lose him forever?  I don’t think so!!

So, what would happen?  Would our prickly legs, uni-brow, hairy pits, and over grown area rug come back to bite us in the bum?  Would it stay like that forever?  Or do you think it would just fall out?

I mean…. I’ve seen on True Blood how there are a couple furry vamps out there, but their dudes!! Aren’t the chickies supposed to all air brushed and rockin’?  What if we have a couple of chin hairs poking out that we forgot about?  Will it stay like that forever?

Remember in “Interview With the Vampire” when Claudia cut her hair?  Think back my pretties!! It wasn’t always Robward who we swooned for.  Remember that she cut it and then moments later it just automatically came back!?!

And that’s just top of the head hair!! Aren’t vampires known for having a luxurious mane?  All bouncy, floofy, soft, and awesome?  Does Edward have a rockin’ nest of chest hair?  Wait a sec.  Does Edward have chest hair?  I’ll have to check on that.

YUP! There is definitely something there.  But maybe I should look at someone else before I come to my decision.

Can I please see Daddy C without a shirt?

Ouch! Well, I’ll take that as a NO!

Hmmmm….. perhaps it does fall out for the Girlies.  I doubt it though.  What a disaster!!  And what if it becomes all razor sharp and hard as stone and there’s just no way to get rid of it even if you put a chainsaw to your armpits.  OH woe as me!! I wouldn’t want to go through life like that.

Well, I guess the only thing that you can do is if you ever have an inkling that your Lover Loo is a vampire…. Make sure you get a wax job before you go anywhere!  You just never know when Mr. Bite Bite is going to show up and I would hate for you to have to go through life like a werewolf instead of smokin’ hawt vampire vixen 😉

~ by erikasbuddy on 11 December 2009.

18 Responses to “TGIF: The Carpet and the Drapes”

  1. Okay, your graphics crack my shit up!! Poor Bella, she can’t complete with my lovely beta, can she? 🙂

  2. Hmmm, you gave me a lot to think about, Never viewed it that way, but yes… fuck! Better be prepared, right? I’m pretty hailrless by nature, lucky me. Legs? Never shaved them. There’S no hair (envious, much?). Oxters? Just a few, almost nothing. The only thing I shave is… well… yes… THERE, ok? And right now I feel the urge to do it. Badly. Thanks for that. I’ll do it now. Yes. Bye.

    • Omg! Lucky!! ow can you be German and not be a fuzzball?!! I’m about as hairy as a…. *blushes … Ok.. I’ve said too much. Dag, I’m jealous of your furless bod!!

  3. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is great… and it’s given me something to think about. Seriously, I may shave twice a day now.

    • I probably should have bought stock in Lady Remingtons today haha!! Thaks for reading!! Now, go shave yourself 😉

  4. Greta, the way your mind works just cracks me up!!!!! And if you think you’re behind in your grooming because it’s winter in AL, just imagine what a sasquatch I am now that winter has settled into Chicago. Wait! Scratch that! Don’t imagine. That will just set you back for weeks. Well, I’m off to go groom just in case UYP is a vamp and decides to change me tomorrow! 🙂

    BTW – when I read the comments at first I thought Betti’s comment was Fragile’s and I was just like, “Whoa, Fragile! That’s a side of you I haven’t seen before!” Then I realized it was Betti and all of a sudden everything was right with the world again. Betti, you are for the win!!!

    • LMAO! HAHA!! Your poor furry thing!! I would be a wolf girl for sure if I lived up North! Hells no!! HEHE!! And LMAO at you thinking Betti’s comment was Fragile’s. HAHAHA!! That would be a little TMI but with Betti it’s perfectly normal to know that much __wink wink

  5. Wow, you know, I never thought about that. Now I’m gonna worry myself and do mad Google and Bing and Wiki searches all day long. *shakes head* I didn’t feel like being productive anyway. *wink* Oh and your graphics are full of win!

    • HAHA!! I’m so happy to have given you something to do all day 😉 Totally happy you like my graphics! I swear I spent all night hunting for a man with a Christmas Tree skirt around his wang. No dice and hubz wasn’t home to pose for a pic so you girlies had to make do with a KILT haha!

  6. I am all set! I just had a wax yesterday. Must always be prepared!

  7. Oh and Betti I am really starting to dislike you! You are a talented artist and musician, you have a rockin bod, a great sex life and now I learn that you have naturally hairless legs! FML!!

  8. @ bierbeck: I’m truly sorry….. not! Well, there maybe one or two almost not- hairs on my legs, but they are only visible when the sun shines on them, because then they sparkle like woven gold… yes, gold! I said: they sparkle! *evil grin*

  9. you never really think about it but yeah I remember Interview with a Vampire pretty damn well and yikes!! *Runs to the phone to make a wax appointment* you never know!

    • HAHA!! Glad that I made ya think 😉 Girlies all over are gonna be nice and smooth by the end of the weekend haha!

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