Trailer Parkward

Why is it that all the Edwards out there in the world of fan fic always have to have this hidden sensitive side to them? Why are we always trying to tame them? Have you noticed this? Every single Edward out there has to be a complete saint that wants starts out all broody, meets his Bella, then has to revolve their lives around her just trying to make her as happy as a clam.

Lately, I have come to find myself trying to read about dark broody nomsicles, hoping and wishing that the angst will be over the top when all of the sudden… He REDEEMS himself!!

The other month Fragile and I had a conversation about this very thing. Why must Edward always be so… so… EDWARDLY? What if he really was an ass? What if he was someone you just wanted to smack the living daylights out of? What if …..

And when I mean bad guy… I mean you literally shout out at your computer screen “WHAT AN ASS!” No swooning. No whispering ‘I like him all bad and hot’. Nothing like that. What if Edward was a complete dick?

SO, it looks like I was faced with another challenge.

Hey, you should write a o/s where Edward is a cheating bastard and Bella kicks him to the curb and burns all his clothes in the front yard. heeheehee

(pic belongs to RobsButtonsBabe/RobNips – Ty Fragile for finding!)


I thought about it for like five seconds before I came to a decision

LMFAO!!! OMG!! I will so do that and use “THE BITCH WENT NUTS” by Ben Folds as Inspiration!! OMG!! YES!!


And that is when I started writing “Eye for an Eye”, a crack fic about a Trailer Parkward and a White Trashella.

Just like with everything I write it must be inspired by a song. I wanted Bella’s song to be country and I must admit, I don’t know of too many country songs out there. Does this shock you? LOL! But guess what! My lovely Boss Lady, Fragile knows of several and introduced me to a song called “Cheater Cheater”. Chapter 1 was written in like two hours after I heard this song.

The song I chose for Chapter 2 is one of my most favorite Bush songs. It explains Edward to a “T”.

So, gather ’round my kiddies and let me tell you the gossip that’s buzzing ’round the trailer park.

Chapter 1 -Bella’s Pov

Seriously, what the hell was I thinking? Why did I think it was such a wise idea to bring his damn yankee ass on down here to live when I knew good and well every female in a three county radius was after his white ass like a cat in heat? What on earth possessed me into marrying such a shifty bastard when I knew for a fact that he had done this to me before? I wasn’t blind. I knew what was going on that year I moved to Chicago and made an attempt at becoming a Sex in the City girl. He wasn’t as faithful and genuine as he led everyone to believe. I could always smell the perfume lingering on him when he said he had work overtime into the wee hours of the morning. I might have been raised in the South, but Mama didn’t raise no fool.

[Note from fragile: I ❤ Joey + Rory, and they’re on Twitter, too!]

Chapter 2 – Edward’s Pov


Sorry, kids… this is why it’s called a teaser. I just teased you on Chapter 1 but I want you to go into Chapter 2 blind. I promise it won’t disappoint. And can tell you that this chapter is the whole reason my little story is rated “M”… and yes…. it’s a crack fic lol…. How bad could it be? Oh trust me my little doves… it’s pretty bad 😉

I hope you enjoy it. There are 4 parts to “Eye for an Eye”. The next 2 chapters will be posted this Friday during TGIF.

~ by erikasbuddy on 2 March 2010.

One Response to “Trailer Parkward”

  1. I fucking love this story!!! Yep, I said it, so there 😛

    Thank you for accepting the challenge and writing such a funny story!!

    P.S. I still ❤ Joey + Rory

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