Happy Thanksgiving to my Interweb Fam from Greta

Hello all! Well, today is the day that we are supposed to all join around a big nice table (sorry that we’re sitting around my coffee table… I only own one chair) and say what we are each thankful for.  Well, of course we’re all gonna say health and love and money…. And doesn’t that just sound like a phone-a-psychic commercial?  But, it’s true.  We’re supposed to be thankful for all that plus family and non-crazy pets, and less crazy neighbors, but this year I am thankful for so much more.  This is the year that I met my people.  I had no clue that you guys were out there and I am so happy that I met you.

When I first noticed the Twilight series it wasn’t due to a 14 year old teeny bopper gush-a-gooing about it.  No… It was because my Entertainment Weekly had a pic of this sparkle dude dancing with this chick and I just had to figure out what it meant.  So, I pop the mag rag open and take a looksy.  Well, guess what?  I had no clue what the hell I was reading and why on earth EW was gushing.  So, I did what any logical cheap-skate like myself would do.  I hopped on the interweb, went to the library’s website, and signed up to request this mysterious book called “Twilight”.  WOW!! There were like 80 requests on this one book.  That fascinated me.  SO, I took the next logical step…. I bought it off Amazon for under $7! SCORE!  The book arrived to me within 2 weeks and I kept it in my closet for another whole week.  I just didn’t know what on earth I actually had in my procession.  After that week I picked it up and omg I was blown AWAY! I tore through that thing like a cat on a leather couch.  It was awesome!!  This was the first time that I frightened the hubz.

So, more days went and I got the following two books from the library.  After reading them I got on the waiting list for “Breaking Dawn”.  Peoples! It is now late August and ummm… yeah…. I can’t fathom why there were like a zillion holds on that one little book.  OH RIGHT! It just came out.  My hubz told me to wait but I was starting to show withdrawal symptoms.  I needed that book.  So, what did I do?  I soo shocked myself! I went out and BOUGHT it! Yes yes…. I know…. It seems rather silly because why wouldn’t I want to own it?  Well, you see… I had no idea how deep into Twilight I really was.

I soon acquired “New Moon “through a tack on bonus from Amazon to get an order up to $25. 

Then the MOVIE came out.  Sweet ZOMBIE Jeebus!! The MOOBIE came out!! EEEEEEEE!!  Well, I was the only one that I even knew of that had read all four books and was excited.  I am sad to say that the first time I went to the movie was by myself.  YUP YUP! I was actually there an hour early and alone in the theater for at least 30 minutes of that time.  I remember counting all the rows in the theater, then all the seats in that row, and finding the dead center.  I then was greeted by a very interesting crowd.  There were the teeny boppers who kept taking pictures of themselves with their stupid Daddy-Bought Camera phones; there were a couple of elderly couples — WITH HUBZ! — and then there were people like me who sat alone and stared at the flickering screen.  WOW!! There were more of me out there and all I could think about was sitting next to them and squeezing their hands while we squealed.  Well, you have to understand that I was new to this Twilight concept and told myself that probably would have been inappropriate.  Boy… was I wrong.

Over New Years of 08 my FAM and I went up to Kentucky to spend it with my bestie, Erika (yup! That’s where I get my Twitter name from lol).  She gave me “Eclipse” for Christmas and told me she didn’t want me to wait around for it to come out in paperback like I was doing. (yes… I know.. I am that cheap lol).  On a previous visit, I had loaned her my “Twilight” book and pretty much FORCED her into reading it.  “You loaned it to her,” you gasp.  Yes in-deedy-do! I did I did and I went without that book for nearly four months!! Talk about withdrawal!  But it was for a good cause.  You see… I wanted to be able to watch the movie with someone who understood and hold their hand and squeal.  This is exactly what we did!!

On New Year’s Day we went to a theater and boy was it packed!! Not a seat left in the house.  We grabbed two seats right next to each other and squealed like little baby pigs.  We even got scolded by a manager for being too loud.  US!! We were the only girlies in there that got lectured!! He told us if we didn’t quiet down and let the other customers enjoy the film then he would have to remove us.  WHAT?!! IS he kidding me?  This was Twilight! We’re supposed to squeal!  So, we shook our heads and watched the kill joy leave the theater and started right back up.  I can’t imagine that we were being that loud.  Ok… I can imagine, but you know as well as me, that I was NOT the only one out there getting loud!!

After that my bud Stacy introduced me to a group called OME.  With Stacy, I learned that there were a ton of housewives, mothers, and over thirty-somethings out there that were just as die-hard about Twilight as I was.  I started making my Twibites, then.  YUP! That was the birth of Twibite   That is also when I ran across someone that we all know and love but with a different name.  She was looking for a beta to read her story called “Breathe Me”.  Oh crap! Did I give it away?  Do you know who I am talking about?  Well, I had been reading this other vampire story that another girly was writing and I decided that I could do another.  WOW! I was sucked in.  This was my first fan fic ever and I was granted the responsibility to beta it.  I was in aww!!  Well, I at the time was a Moonlight virgin and over time I had to buy that series (you go out now and buy it!! I command you!!).

Soon after that I got to meet this mystery girl who wrote “Breathe Me” and a couple of the other Alabama OME girls.  Stacy set up a Meet-and-Greet to go see Harry Potter.  That was the highlight of my July!  I felt like a 12 year old girl with all these Twi-hards.  It was awesome!! Stacy, Fragile, her SIL, and I stayed the longest and gush-a-dee-gush-gush… four friendships were quickly sparked!!

After that week I started reading “Wide Awake”, as suggested by Fragile, and started following this super-secret Twilight blog that apparently wanted to stay hidden lol!!  OMG! I was sucked in!! That was my second fan fic!! And boy oh boy… nom nom nom…. This was a side of Edward I had never seen before and I wanted more more more!  Sadly, my husband was on business trips for most of that time which left me extremely frustrated but extremely thankful when he came back.  This was the time when Fragile explained to me what lemons were.  Yup yup! Remember having that awkward talk with your parents about the birds and the bees?  Well, poor Fragile had to explain to me where exactly lemons came from lol!

After “Wide Awake” I got on to the Twitter.  Yuppers!  And from there is when I met you all.  The lovely world of chickies out there that share the same love for Twilight as me.  I learned that I am NOT the biggest fan! Far from it!! I also learned that a lot of you share the same twisted humor as I do and think my little DOMO Edward is cute. Awww!! But mostly, I learned that I am not an obsessive freak and I am not the only grown woman out there that dreams about a 17 year old boy

SO, this Thanksgiving… I am thankful for all that Phone-a-Psychic mumbo jumbo but I am also thankful for my new family.  The family I type to every Friday night and squeal la da dee about sparkles, lemons, and this dude named Rob.

Thanks again chickies!! I am so Happy that I found ya

Breathe Me Chapter 22 Teaser

Wow, just one more chapter after this one. Where did the weeks go? Thank you for all your reviews – each week more and more readers tell me how much they like the story.

Chapter 22 begins with Edward taking care of his Bella:

Edward watched as the sun set on their fifth day as man and wife, the fourth day he had waited for Bella to open her eyes. He had carried Bella to her balcony, and he cradled her limp, sheet-wrapped body in his lap. She was still breathing, and her heart was still beating. Neither had returned to the strength Mick expected, and Edward knew they were preparing for the pyre he made Mick promise to create if anything went wrong. Mick was only waiting now for one last confirmation that Bella was gone forever.

“Love, I know you’re in there,” he whispered, stroking her cool cheek. “You wouldn’t leave me alone. I don’t know what to do, and I wish you could tell me.”

He heard the clamoring thoughts before the opening and closing doors and the footsteps up the stairs. He wasn’t sure why they were bothering to whisper; even if he didn’t have vampire hearing, he’d still know every thought they had in their heads. He continued to look out into the woods, rocking Bella back and forth, until he felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

I’m not including the playlist song in this week’s teaser. I don’t want you to listen to it until after you’ve read the chapter. There will be a link to the song in an author’s note at the end.

Don’t forget, the Moonlight DVD giveaway ends November 29th!

Since you’re not getting a song, the least I can do is give you a video.   How ’bout the Remember Me trailer? Yep, my spoiler-free ways do not extend to this movie at all.

My First Giveaway!

To celebrate completing Breathe Me *sniffle* and the end of the New Moon cone of silence, I am doing my first official giveaway. And what, pray tell, am I giving away?

That’s right: I’m giving away one set of Moonlight DVDs! Here’s the details:

1 – I will give away one set of DVDs away in either Region 1 (US & Canada) or Region 2 (Japan, Europe, South Africa, & the Middle East including Egypt) format (your choice).

2 – The DVDs will be sent directly from Amazon or Amazon.co.uk (depending on the format you choose).

3 – If, for some strange reason, the DVD is out of stock, I will send you an Amazon gift card for the current cost of the DVDs so you can order them when they’re back in stock.

Here’s the product description from Amazon:

Any private eye knows a lot about other people’s secrets. L.A. private eye Mick St. John (Alex O’Loughlin) has a secret of his own. He’s a vampire, dwelling in a covert netherworld complicated by friendship with an undead finance honcho (Jason Dohring), memories of the alluring ex- wife (Shannyn Sossamon) who turned him into a vampire, and a relationship with a human (Sophia Myles) he feels drawn to protect – and maybe to love. But no matter how tempting, Mick knows a vampire-human romance is eternally dangerous. This 16-episode, 4-disc set of the series voted the 2008 People’s Choice Award for Favorite New TV Drama is a sure entertainment bet for all who like their vampire stories sleek, intense and passionate.

So, what do you have to do to win this giveaway? Simple: just leave a comment on this post telling me your favorite quote or scene from Breathe Me and why it’s your favorite. (1 entry per person)

Leave your comment by November 29th, and I’ll pick a commenter at random to win the DVDs. I’ll announce the winner on November 30th, the same day I post the last Breathe Me chapter. *sob*

And, just ’cause I can now, here’s a picture of my favorite vampire:

Welcome home, Edward. Welcome home.

Twibite: New Moon in Domo Part II

When we left our Domo-in-distress, she was about to jump into a Glad container of water. Let’s see what happens next…

Bella: Ack!!! I should have thought this out a little better!

Bella: Balto! I mean Jacob!! You saved me! Jacob: Why did you jump?

Oh! I saw a bee and was trying to get away from it

Jacob: Fe Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of a Dracula! Bella: *squeal* Let me out Let me out!!

Zoooooooooooom! Bella: Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting him to do

Bella: Alice!! What are you doing here?

Alice: It’s Edward! He thinks you’re dead! I saw you jump and I assumed you went splat. Bella: But I didn’t go splat

Alice: I know that now, but Edward is about to break the biggest VAMPIRE rule ever and get himself splatted. Bella: What is HE about to do? Show off his glittery bod in PUBLIC?

Alice: I wish!! -GASP- He’s heading to IOWA… to go to a … GASP…. STAR TREK CONVENTION…. And sell his soul to Patrick Stewart!!!

Bella: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alice: You’ve got to help! He’s breaking the biggest rule ever!! Vampires are NOT Trekies!! Bella: Let’s Go!!

Reckless Actiony Car Scene

Alice: Ok Bella, you need to go find Edward. I’ll make a diversion. Bella: How are you going to do that?

Alice: George Lucas is a GOD!! (Rampage of dorks attack) Alice: Go Bella Go!!

Que the dorktastically cool Star Trek opera type song

Brooding in the corner

Bella: Edward!! NoOoOo!! Don’t do it!!

Edward: Bella, but it can’t be. I must be dreaming. Perhaps is a good day to die. Bella: Edward! Snap out of it and quit quoting Klingons!

Edward: The creature within me is gone. I am free of it and the pain… Beam me up Scotty! Bella: Spock and Scotty quotes? Edward! Snap out of it!!

--- SLAP ---

Edward: Bella! What happened? And why do I have a strong urge to play with action figures and paint models and debate about the differences between TSO and TNG?

Edward: Oh snap!! What have I done?

Enter the scary vampires

Bella: Who are they? Edward: They work for the Volturi!! Bella: The who? Edward: The real LORDS of Darkness.

Bella: What do they want? Edward: They probably want to spank me for violating the restraining order for Patrick Stewart.

Felix: You’re in big trouble, MISTER! You better come with us.

Jane: You too!! Alice: Eek!

Lords of Darkness Hostess: Oh, HI Jane! The Kings of Darkness are ready to see you, now. Go right in.

Short Haired Dark Lord: Come in Children

Short Haired Dark Lord: Its been drawn to out attention that Edward has nearly violated the NO GEEKS ALLOWED clause in the vampire rule book. What should we do about this? Edward: Forget that it ever happened? *crooked smile*

Long Haired Dark Lord: No, that won’t do. How about we just eat your pet and you can come work for us? Bella: EeEk!!

Alice: You don’t want to eat Bella. She’s full of empty calories! Plus you might need her one day.

Short Haired Dark Lord: How’s that? Alice: Let me show you.

Long Haired Dark Lord: Ahh… yes yes… The FORCE is strong with this one. You guys are free to go. Oh, and Bella Dear! I can’t wait to see you in fangs. Bella: WHAT?!! *shiver shiver*

Edward and Alice: COME ON!

-Back in Forks- Bella: Well, what do we do now? OH!! I know!! How about you BITE me?!

Edward: Hmmmm… What are you going to give me? Bella: Anything *eyelash flutter*

Edward: Ok then. *crooked smile* Marry Me.

Bella: Can’t you just BITE ME instead? Edward: Oh come on Bella. Don’t you want to be my snookums?

Bella: GULP -THE END-

Dedicated to all my awesome TWERDS out there! Ok… I officially have way too much time on my hands haha!!!

Twibite: New Moon in Domo Part I

A while back, you may remember Greta’s fuckawesome Domo Twilight post. Well, she’s baaaaaack:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!!

Oooow!! A paper cut

Japser: NOMS!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Edward: Its not safe to be around me anymore. It's better if I go before my family tries to eat you again.

Noooooo!!!

October

November

December – Bella got a little OVER DRAMATIC

Bella: Hey Jessica, let's go walk down this freakishly scary alley

Jessica: Eeek!! Dreamy Edward: GrRrRrRr Bella: *shudder*

Bella: How can I hear that velvety voice again?

Bella decides to go dumpster diving

Bella: Oh fabulous!! A broken MOTORCYCLE!!

Bella: Jacob Dear!! Fix this for me *eyelash flutter*

~Pant Pant Pant Drool~

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Bella: Let’s do that again!! Dreamy Edward: GrRrRrRrRr!!

Bella and Jacob go to a movie

Jacob: I think I’m gonna hurl

Bella: Hmmm…. I think I’ll call Jacob.

Bella: Hey, can Jacob come out to play?

Billy: No, he has a mosquito bite and is VERY sick!

Oh…. My meadow… I have a sad

Laurent: Dang Girl!! You smell like Pizza!! Bella: EEK!

CHOMP

Well, that was convenient

Bella: Why have you been avoiding me? Jacob: Ummm… because I smell like Calamine Lotion

Bella: Wow Jake!! You skin is burning hot! Jacob: Really?

Bella: Gasp! I know what you are! Jacob: Say it OUT LOUD

A Leprechaun

Jacob: A what? No!! I’m a werewolf! PUPPY POWER!!

Meanwhile in the forest Victoria *Evil Laugh*

Bella: CANNONBALL Dreamy Edward: GrRrRrRrRr

Will Bella survive her jump into the choppy waters? Come back tomorrow and find out…

Breathe Me Chapter 21 Teaser

So hard to believe it’s getting that much closer to the end. Chapter 21, “Time for Sleep,” will be posted on Monday.

Standing outside the bedroom door, Edward took slow, deep, steadying breaths. Even though this had been his idea, having someone else change Bella was not something he relished doing. Still, he wanted an eternity with her, an eternity she wouldn’t have to spend in fear and trepidation as he did. If anything ever happened to him, Bella would be able to blend in with humans and live a life of freedom he’d never know. No matter how much it would tear him up inside to watch someone else change her, he knew it was the right thing to do.

When it was time, Edward slowly opened the door. Bella was standing on the balcony, and the cool breeze billowed her gauzy white top around her. It was the same outfit she’d worn the night she allowed him to love her again, and he smiled remembering. When she turned to face him, the beautiful disarray of her hair and the depth of molten eyes made him gasp.

He felt Mick’s hand on his shoulder, and Mick spoke to him wordlessly. We don’t have to do this now. Maybe you need time.

Edward didn’t need time; he needed courage. Looking at Bella, he realized she had enough for both of them.

The playlist song for this chapter is one Greta sent me. She’s always sending me songs she thinks fit my stories, and this one was perfect for this chapter.

Pissed off, frustrated, and rec’ing fanfic

Okay, so here we are, two weeks into NaNoWriMo. And I haven’t even written 3000 words of my NaNo story.

Why? Because Aiden and Callie refuse to talk to me. They sit in the corner like two bumps on a log whispering to each other, but they won’t talk to me…you know, the fucking author! They do give me the finger every so often, so at least they’re acknowledging my existence.

And I’ve tried, really I have. But I don’t know how much longer I can sit and stare at the same Google Doc and not type.

It’s starting to piss me off.

But, you know who is talking to me?

Alice.

Yeah, evil fucking pixie Alice. I LOVE Alice. I love Ashley Greene, too, but that’s a topic for another post.

Still, except for a voice on the phone in Breathe Me and a brief cameo in my Jasper o/s, I don’t write Alice. Why, all of the sudden, is Alice is in my head, demanding that I write a five chapter story for her?!

It’s not like I haven’t been writing. In addition to my 2,800 words of my NaNo story, I’ve written five Breathe Me chapters totaling approximately 15,000 words and 900 words of Alice’s story. I’m going to begin work on my next In The Blood chapter this weekend.

Still, Aiden and Callie are quiet.

It’s all very frustrating.

So, what do I do when I have writer’s block? That’s right, I read stories by people who apparently don’t have writers block. Here’s a few I’d like to recommend:

- I think that lambcullen is my new favorite author. I spent way too much time at work catching up on her story Tides, and then I discovered her new story Tilt. I love Tides, but I LOVE Tilt. You really should read them both.

In Tides, Bella returns to the house she’s inherited from her grandfather and finds her childhood friend Edward living there. She doesn’t know it, but Edward’s been waiting for her…for a long time.

In Tilt, Bella and Edward are both wonderfully awkward and, against their initial wishes, thrown together by a racy Internet personal ad. It’s only three chapters in, and I’m already hooked.

- The Best Man by Bratty-Vamp is a wonderful completed story. In this story, Bella visits home during a college summer break to find out her best friend Jasper is getting married. Jasper, however, can’t decide if Bella or his older brother Edward should be his best man, and he decides a competition is in order. Oh, did I mention that Bella’s loved Edward from afar since she was a kid? Let me warn you: when I thought knew what was going on, something came out of a completely different direction and thwacked me upside the head. I really seriously love this story.

- Red Strings of Fate is an in-progress story by unicornhime told through text messages, emails, and forum posts. Edward meets the girl of his dreams (Bella…of course), but he doesn’t know how to woo her. He looks to a message board to get advice on how to win Bella’s heart. I seriously laughed so hard I cried. The way it’s told is so clever. And, believe it or not, it’s the first T-rated story I’ve ever rec’d.

- The Kübler Ross Model by jadedandboring initially screamed out to me because I am the somewhat proud owner of a completely useless psychology degree. Then I read the first chapter. It is a beautiful, touching story, and I can’t begin to explain how much I love it. Bella has lost the love of her life, and Edward is in a failing relationship. What happens as they begin to find themselves drawn together? The story, currently at 6 chapters, is nearing its end. So, if you’re one that waits for a story to complete, keep your eye on this one.

- Oh, and all you people who encouraged me to re-read the first chapter of Clipped Wings and Inked Armor after getting some sleep (the first time I read it, I just couldn’t get into it), thank you! I love the story, and I drop everything now to read the new chapters.

Now, there are some more stories by my Twitter BFFs that I want to recommend, but I’m saving those for their very own post next week. I think I’ve given you enough to work with for now

(P.S. Keep an eye out for a new post this weekend about my very first giveaway!)

You know fanfic has turned you into a shameless hussy* when…

Greta and I have been discussing lately how reading all this fan fiction is turning us into shameless hussies*. In case you were wondering if you, too, were becoming a shameless hussy*, here’s some of the signs:

 

He's not pulling it yet, but you know he wants to.

- You start yanking your husband’s hair in hopes that it will turn him on but then you get yelled at because for some reason he’s bitching about you hurting him.

- Your husband asks why having your hair pulled suddenly turns you on.

 

Okay, we read CW&IA and we liked it - so?

- You begin to seriously consider piercing, tatting, or waxing…or all of the above.

- You throw out your husband’s plain old soap and replace it with the leather-scented kind just so you can imagine he’s Wideawakeward…and when the lights are out you can TOTALLY imagine it!

 

Why, oh, why didn't you just let him have it?

- You wish you’d gotten your husband that Maxim subscription he wanted so you can see Ashley’s new pics.

- You find yourself picking shirts that show off the girls and you’re seriously considering submitting your pic to Rack of the Week.

- You ask your husband if he can hang up a hook in the bedroom and would he mind if you hung from it.

- You can’t stop giggling at your husband’s Scooby-Doo pj bottoms and for some reason that fact that he wears them turns you on even more than it used to.

 

No, we don't save pictures based on their FingerPorn content *whistling* *looking away*

- You are fixated on fingers and what those fingers could do.

- Your husband says you’ve tired him out.

Oh, and I’m so not telling you which one of us of is doing which

*and we mean shameless hussy in the most complimentary way possible

Breathe Me Chapter 20 Teaser

Instead of blogging or writing my NaNoWriMo story or sleeping, I have spent the past 48 hours writing the last four chapters of Breathe Me. I am currently writing the last chapter, which will be finished before I go to bed tonight. So, for each of the next four Mondays, beginning tomorrow, a new Breathe Me chapter will be posted to FFn. The final chapter will be posted November 30th. In addition to weekly teasers, expect a couple of big Breathe Me related posts here in the next few weeks.

Chapter 20 is titled “She Dances and I Dream.”

Underneath a clear and starry sky, Edward and Mick stood in Bella’s backyard, listening to the leaf-barren trees sway in the cool, light breeze. Edward had come to love this place just as much as Bella had, and he knew he would miss the peacefulness. He breathed in deeply, just barely catching the scent of the only woman he would ever love.

Mick cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“I’ve never been more ready for anything.” Edward looked at Mick and smiled. “I’ve never been more sure.”

“Will your family be angry that you’re doing this on your own?” Mick asked, a worried expression on his face.

Edward thought for a moment. “Angry, no. Disappointed, maybe. But we need to do this our way, Bella and I. Hopefully they’ll understand that.”

I asked my Twitter friends for song suggestions, and they came back with lots of great recommendations (all of which I’ll use eventually). @CaptCall recommended the following song, which is an old, forgotten favorite of mine. It was the perfect song for this chapter. Thank you CaptCall!!

Breathe Me chapter 19 Teaser

Only 4 chapters after this one…wow. Sorry it’s late – I’ve been working on other stories, and Edward and Mick didn’t want to talk to me until today.

“Edward, why are you so tense?” Walking up behind him, Bella ran her hands around his waist, laying her cheek on his back.

Standing on the balcony and watching the swaying trees, Edward hadn’t realized his hands were in tight fists at his sides. “Just thinking about everything.” He pried her hands apart, raising each to his mouth to kiss her palms. “I’m better now.” He turned around and sweetly kissed her forehead. “Go downstairs and let Mick in. I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes, okay?”

Bella looked at him, confusion clouding her eyes. Hearing the doorbell ring, she smiled, standing on tiptoes to kiss him quickly before heading downstairs. As she walked away, Edward’s cellphone beeped, and he opened it to find a new text message from Alice.

“Quit ignoring my calls and ANSWER YOUR PHONE!”

Edward quickly typed a response.

“Don’t worry. I have everything under control.”

He turned off his phone and threw it onto a wicker chair. Breathing deeply, enjoying the scent of Bella and her surroundings, he turned and walked downstairs. Standing in the kitchen doorway, he found Mick and Bella sitting on opposite sides of the kitchen table.

The playlist song is a favorite of mine by Better Than Ezra. There’s not a music video for it, but someone made a great Moonlight fan video using the song.